phil. 1:21

Posted in: on Saturday, December 29, 2007 at at 11:22 AM 0 comments

Posted in: on at at 11:02 AM 1 comments

i have photos running through my head all day...

You have five minutes to wallow in the delicious misery.

enjoy it.

embrace it.

disgard it.

& proceed.

- elizabethtown.

Posted in: on Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at at 2:29 PM 0 comments

Posted in: on Sunday, December 9, 2007 at at 1:43 PM 1 comments

Posted in: on Thursday, October 18, 2007 at at 7:45 PM 0 comments

Posted in: on at at 7:44 PM 0 comments

Posted in: on Friday, October 12, 2007 at at 11:54 AM 1 comments

Well, i am busy.

more of the inward kind of busy.

choices, and feelings.

again. i dont feel like writing.

Posted in: on Friday, October 5, 2007 at at 8:57 PM 1 comments

Posted in: on Thursday, October 4, 2007 at at 12:15 PM 0 comments

So, basically why i havent really written anything of great volume is cuz;


1- im really busy. work is killer


2- most the time photos can display how i feel betteer than words.


3- my life is boring and nothing of great change has happened.

So, where do i go from here?


Do i talk about how challenging work is ? or how so many of my relationships [eps. those with the opposite sex] are at a STAND STILL? c.o.m.p.l.e.t.e.t.l.y.
okay. so they are. i dont have a boyfriend. do i want one? do i need one?
the answer to both of those questions are NO.

No,no, no. but....is the 1st one a really real no?

confusing, eh? i am. really confused.....well, more of a frustration.... like a KSDJKLFJSKDFJLKDSF! or a simply and sighh.
i'm still happy though. i got some pretty awesome friends. *cough*jackiee.=]


im making some pretty good money, and there are no guys in the picture.
its somewhat relaxing, or there is no pressure. sorta.
to be honest, some days i just would like a hug. a real hug. one of those hugs that when u hug that person u can smelll them.


oh,, how i miss jonny's hugs. hhahaha! he smelled so good.all.the.time.
no joke. julz knows what im talking about!! CHYEAH.

[photo time!!]

Posted in: on at at 11:56 AM 2 comments

this was in Jackie's hero section on her myspace. =] [ myspace.com/jackiepoopiedonyou]

This is Miss Anna.Anna Miss is this.

Posted in: on Tuesday, October 2, 2007 at at 12:05 PM 0 comments

Posted in: on Sunday, September 30, 2007 at at 2:41 PM 0 comments

[photo by joy newell]
i hate when you meet someone who you think thinks like you and then they do something that disappoints you and than you get disappointed. and then you are alone again, and then you find yourself pushing everyone away that trys to get close. why do relationships have to be complicated? i think i need to just write a poem. i wish i could. i wish i could put into words how i feel. but that sounds so incredably lame, really lame and stupid. so, yeah. this is all. lata.

Posted in: on Thursday, September 27, 2007 at at 1:03 PM 0 comments

i dont feel like writing today.

Posted in: on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 at at 1:36 PM 1 comments

WHOA.

lots of things have happened.

JOB=waitress at Bob Evans. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. i am a waitress. its harder than it sounds. Seriously. the menu is huge, and it have to pretty much memorize it all in 3 days. not fun. and thennnn, ALL the abbr.--crazzzy. ahh.

i was pretty much freaking out yesterday, knowing it was my LAST night [ i only had 3 days of training!] of training. i mean, i was really freaking out.

STRESSED. i honestlly dont get stressed out that much. i really dont. but yesterday was nuts.

oh well. these last 2 days were crazy.

SUNDAY-Church, Senior Lunch, Photoshoot with Caleb. gosh, i didnt know boys needed so much direction. [pics will come lata] but seriously, i first it was REALLY hard. thank goodness that Amanda was there.....hardest shoot everr...

MONDAY-French class at 2-4...then WORK @ 4:30-9ish.

So this morning was killer.

its been a while since i was this tired.

i work again tonight. BY MYSELF. CHYEAH. im really freaking out. haha! pray for me!

Anywhoo. thats basically it.

wow, this post was really boring.

until next time....

Posted in: on Tuesday, September 25, 2007 at at 11:42 AM 0 comments

i'm so restless.

Posted in: on Wednesday, September 19, 2007 at at 3:26 PM 1 comments

the weather is chilly today.

Posted in: on Saturday, September 15, 2007 at at 1:25 PM 1 comments

it was late last night [ or early this morning ] when i couldnt sleep. i think i suffer from insomia. haha ~

[ This is the for the ladies who have commitment issues ]

Boys are like shoes;
For me, at least. Well. you know when you have that ONE favorite pair of shoes that you absolutely love! like LOVE . but to be honest, they dont go with all your favorite outfits. soo, you change shoes. every once in a while.
yeah, so, its kinda like boys. you know you like that ONE boy, but sometimes he doesnt "go with" other aspects of your life. like sometimes its great and both of you guys have alot of fun. but other times,it can be awkward.
so, i guess you can say, you have other boys too to fit other parts of your life. [ haha! ] like, "keeping your options open" . its hard to be satified with one pair of shoes.
well, its hard. cuz you still have that favorite shoe--and then you feel guilty when you wear that other awesome pair [ or when you talk to that other boy ] so, you over compesate, and then things get even more complicated.

but one day, hopefully, we all will find that ONE PAIR [ or boy! haha ]that we absolutely completely fall in love with. and it [ he ] goes with every single outfit and it fits perfectly with other situation. it will be dependable, comfy, make you feel sexy, and most importantly it will be loyal and steady. you will never tire of it [ or him ] and all your friends will think you are the CUTEST. haha ~ !

so, yeah. i wish for everyong to find that one awesome amazing pair of shoes....

and maybe a boy too....why not?

who knows!

=] now, have a lovely evening and go play in the rain.

Posted in: on Friday, September 14, 2007 at at 4:44 PM 1 comments

Posted in: on Thursday, September 13, 2007 at at 1:59 PM 1 comments

Posted in: on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 at at 1:25 PM 1 comments

Posted in: on at at 12:51 PM 0 comments

For the past two summers, I have been a camp counselor. I lived a total of 3 weeks each summer in a nice little cabin. A cabin consists of two separate smaller cabins, and each had their own bathroom equipped with three showers and two toilets. My favorite thing about the cabin is the smell. It isn’t a bad smell, but a very distinct one. There is always noise in the cabin. The talking and laughing never cease, and the faces change every week starting on Monday. On the last day, the hugs I always received were very bittersweet. I miss the little girls wrapping the small arms around my body and squeezing me tight.

On the first day of camp, the anticipation of the campers filled the air. They struggled pulling and dragging their immense luggage up the steep hill to their home for the week. All of the girls are between the height of 3-4ft and their eyes are glazed with excitement. They hesitate when they enter the cabin. The hardware floors and the sturdy wooden bunks make them nervous. They are a long way away from the comfort of their own twin-sized bed. The actual bed is smaller than a twin and it fits their small petite bodies perfectly. They drop their huge bags near bunk and all of them start making their beds and also making new friends.

The day starts out hectic. I’m laying in my bunk half awake, when I hear little foot steps, small giggles, and impatient voices. I smile. I knew these campers would be fine this week. I could tell they were excited, and that made me excited. You never know what kind of girls you will get every week, because every week is different. I get up and immediately start hurrying them up. I have only one hour to bathe, clothe, have them brush their teeth, and clean the whole cabin. I hear the showers going full speed and I can smell the soap in the bathroom. I hear suitcases being zipped open and close. Some girls are completely silent, while others are talking non-stop. I paused many times to brush hair and the braid hair. Always the same; pink-tails. I loved it, I was in my element. The morning went fine. The girls were fast and polite. The perfect cabin.

As the day progresses, we go back to the cabin after lunch for nap time and bible memory. As everyone gets in their bunk, I instruct them on how this hour will go. Junior campers need to be told everything. As all of them lay silently on the beds, I close my eyes and sigh. Getting peace and quiet, even if it was only for 30mins, is a rare gift in the world of being a Junior counselor.

The day finally ends back in the cabin. Some of the girls are exhausted, while other are still very energetic and hyper. After the night showers are finished, I get down on the floor for devotions. After the ten minute devotion is finished, their eyes are tired and the energy level has reached the lowest point. They crawl into their beds, and say their goodnights. I turn on the bathroom light for a night-light, and get into my own bed. In 10-15 minutes, all is quiet in the small wooden cabin. The only noise that is heard is the fan blowing in all directions throughout the cabin and the many creatures that live outside the cabin. I close my eyes for the second time that day and take a deep breath.

I loved days like those, and i miss living in a cabin.

God is Amazing.

Posted in: on Monday, September 10, 2007 at at 11:41 AM 2 comments

Posted in: on Wednesday, August 22, 2007 at at 11:56 AM 2 comments

Posted in: on Monday, August 20, 2007 at at 1:58 PM 0 comments

This entry is strictly venting.
i have to.
Bare with me. Props to those who stick through this whole entry.

Lets Start;
Today--Yes, i have watched the movie Becoming Jane...it was about the great Jane Austen's life. My friend and I were very very excited to see this movie. i love Jane Austen. Read almost every novel. Great stuff.
Soo, of course we were inticipating another P&P....but NO... it wasnt.

-the movie started out like any other Austen movie...Girl meets boy..detests boy..boy acts bad....boy falls in love...girl realizes her love for the boy...but then the movie turns depressing.
Depressing--yes, that is a strong word. i undestand. but this movie made me angry and frustrated.
Every girl, at one point, wishes she lives in the world of Jane Austen. its just plain romantic. but, this movie displayed that society as a ughly and harsh place. Families being ripped apart by disease and scandals. Being a women without money is the worst. [ i would like to point out how thankful i am how far women have come ] anyways-- Money.
it plays a HUGE part in this part in this movie. It tears love apart, and on that fact alone brings me alot sadness.
I feel immensely sad for Jane. She didnt deserve her fate.
i could go one about how its completely and utterly unfair how women were treated back then. i could go on and complain on how ignornant men can be and how they dont think about their decisions. and i could possibly vent about how Jane decided her own destiny and how brave she was by making those decisions.
[disappointment hopes is the hardest kind of punishment when it comes with women]
i could and maybe i will in the future vent about this movie some more, and explain a little more.
But...i wont.
Surprised?
Me too.


maybe another time for a camp story.
someone call me for coffee. anyone.

have a lovely day.

Posted in: on Saturday, August 18, 2007 at at 1:24 PM 1 comments

So, basically everyone keeps asking me how my 3 weeks were being a SRT [Solid Rock Teen] aka a Junier Counselor. i was a big sister. kinda. its hard to explain. there are the main couselors who are in their twenties and then there are the SRTs. here's some background info: there were 9 of us..6 girls...3 boys..around the age of 16-18. and all of us have been to camp at Alpine a number of years. alot of years. [personally-this was my 9th yr] camp is addictive. i cant get enough of it. i was an SRT last yr--this year i knew what i was getting myself into. it was different, and if you ask me which year i liked best-- i couldnt tell you. i love camp. i love being a camper and i love having campers. back to what i said --i felt like a big sister, but different. i didnt know these girls, but i loved living with them. whenever i describe cabin life i tell everyone that i live with about 10 little girls in a tiny cabin.[ which is true ] but, its different. and when you are excited and that makes them excited about camp. I deff learned that lesson; Attitudes are Contagious. as an SRT, you set goals everyweek. Such as giving 100%. every.single.day. we had devos we had to do every morning and a time during the day set aside to talk about devos with your accountability partner. [ Hi Aili! i miss you! ] Okay, back to the campers. [ because "Camp is for the campers!" ] My 1st week of girls were amazing. im not just saying that. im serious. most of them were from Bible Center. around the age of 9-10. [ i love that age! ] and they were fast! haha and polite! wow. i miss them. its amazing how close you get with a 9yr old in one week. i need to share this with you; Marilyn was a favorite. i know you arent allowed to choose favorites. but she was. sorry. anyways-- my bed [bottom bunk] was next to hers. and we would leave the bathroom light on for a nightlight. and one night i turned over and the light that was peeking out from the bathroom was shining right in Marilyn's face. her whole body was engulfed by her sleeping bag and and her head was the only thing out. she was sleeping. soundly. i sighed. this may sound really cheesy. but it wasnt. these moments i will never forget. i starred at the little girl's face for almost 5mins straight. Marilyn was in my cabin last year and she is 10 yrs old. she is little though. blond hair, eager eyes, and a laugh that was contagious. she made me laugh so much. always smiling. i will never forget that look on her face that night. it was a face of peacefulness and innocence. i loved it and love moments like that. its enbedded in my mind. there is another girl--but i'll talk about her later. for now, this is it. my first entry. i have SO much to tell about SRT. i could go on forever. well. not forever. but for a VERY long time. hope i didnt bore you to much. STAY TUNED!

Posted in: on Thursday, August 16, 2007 at at 1:15 PM 0 comments